My Faith Fight…

“How many times, do I go against Your will
Then You forgive me, but yet I still
Turn around and do the things, the things I shouldn’t do
Cause I belong to You and I know You will come through
Lord I know, I take advantage of Your grace
Here in this Christian race,
But yet I still hear You calling my name.

How many times, would it take for me to learn
That it’s only in Your will, I’ll ever earn
I’ll ever earn my life’s reward, the honor due to me
Life eternally, riches in Glory
Lord, I know, I know I don’t belong
With You cause I’ve done wrong
But yet I still hear You calling my name

How many times, do I go against Your will
Then You forgive me, but yet I still
Turn around and do the things, the things I shouldn’t do
Cause I belong to You and I know You will come through
Lord, I know, I know I don’t belong
With You cause I’ve done wrong
But yet I still hear You calling my name.”

 This song sums up how I had been living my life over the past 3 years.

In 2011, I was living a life of sin. I had went to party and I was so drunk that I know I was an embarrassment to the people who loved me, but I was searching for something, I was missing something, I was INCOMPLETE! The next day, I prayed to God that I would never again be so inebriated if He would just let me feel better. I stopped drinking at that time. I was a heavy drinker, I wasn’t an alcoholic but I was well on my way.

Back in 2011, He called my name. I confessed my sins, gave my life to God. I was ready to give God everything. I made the decision that I was going to live my life for God. I preached my initial sermon, “EXPOSED FOR A PURPOSE”! That day in November 2011, when I stood up in church and read the poem by Maya Angelou, “When I say I am a Christian”, I knew it was no one but God. I was transparent, transparent with God and myself.

There were people around me that didn’t support my decision or weren’t ready for the ride, but I went on to let God take the wheel.  When you don’t have the support from the people whom you love and you think they love you, it is hard to stay on the straight and narrow. So, I took the wheel back from God. I decided that I was going to be the driver and no longer be chauffeured by God. What a BIG MISTAKE!!!!!

jesus.jpg
http://www.pinterest.com

How could I think that my driving would get me to the place where I needed to be? How could I do what God needed me to do when I shut Him out?  How could I live the life that He promised me when I had left Him by the side of the road? How could I? So, around the same time last year, I had a renewed spirit, a renewed mind, and a renewed HEART, I gave my God, His right to chauffeur me again. I can’t take anyone with me, I can only take myself.  I know where I am trying to go, I got Heaven On My Mind. I have to live my life for myself and not for others. My happiness depends on ME!

 

This is a fight that I plan on winning. Your relationship with God is like every relationship. It may have its ups and downs, but in the end, if it’s what you want, it will last.

Happy Reading and Enjoy! 🙂

Author: A PERFECTLY FLAWED RUBY!!!

I am Zeb's wife. Shabre, Zeb Jr., Ashleigh, and Jayla's mother! I am a God fearing woman! I am Ruby's daughter! I AM PERFECTLY FLAWED!

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