For me 2015 has been one HELL of a YEAR! I have learned and gained, I have failed and learned, and I have suffered loss and I have gained a new love of who I am.
I lost my grandmother on February 20, 2015. She was our matriarch and I have yet to grieve like a “normal” person. Being a nurse, I comfort and I nurture everyone else but I have no one who comforts or nurtures me…well I don’t let the ones around me see me weak, see me vulnerable. I have to be strong for everyone else. I watched her deteriorate for more than a year and I guess I had grasped the fact that she would be leaving us soon. She was 93 years young.
Addie J. Wright was a homemaker, a loving and kind woman, a woman of God, a missionary, a steward, a great cook and baker and most of all my grandmother.
She grew up in Archery, Georgia. A small community outside of Plains, Ga. The same place where our 39th President Jimmy Carter hails from. Yes, she played with James Earl “Jimmy” Carter Jr.
My grandmother really isn’t my grandmother, but she is the only one that I know. This wonderful woman and her husband, took in her sister’s children after she was killed by her boyfriend. She had four little girls and my grandmother didn’t hesitate to take care of them like they were her own. She and my grandfather didn’t have any children at this time and so she opened her heart and her home to my mother and her sisters, after many years she eventually had a daughter of her own.
Her house was open to anyone and everyone. It was the gathering place for her family. She cooked on a wood stove for many years and that was some of the best soul food you would eat. Her grandchildren would get off the bus after school and she would have dinner ready for us. I loved her cheeseburger macaroni, that was my favorite dish that she made. She would bake a mean caramel cake as well. I loved to watch her in the kitchen because everything was made from scratch and with love.
In a couple of months, it will be a year that she will be gone. I will always remember that night she passed. She had been in the hospital for a few days in CCU and then transferred to the floor. We decided that Hospice would be best for her. We didn’t want her to suffer anymore, but, it took some convincing for my mother and my aunts. I had visited with her most of the day on the 19th at the hospital, just spending some quality time with her, but, she and I had a special moment when she was in CCU a few days before.
I received a call from my mom and she was telling me that they had to move her to another room because the room she was in had flooded. That was around 8:00 pm that night. My husband and I were laying in the bed later that night about 11:45 pm or a little later and we both felt a sensation, a calming spirit and my phone begin to ring. It was my mom, she said we need to go to the hospital, she is gone. We both got up, put on our clothes and out the door we went.
At the hospital, it was like she was asleep. I told her that I loved her. I made sure that she was cleaned up before the funeral home came in to take her. I did what I knew to do, what I did as a nurse, for the families that I take care of. It wasn’t necessarily a job for me, but it was my way of saying, “I love you and that you are my world.”
A few days later she had a great home going service. I didn’t go to the burial site and I haven’t been to this day.
I know she lives in my heart.
Happy Reading and Enjoy!
“Life may not go as you planned, but it is worth Living!”-Alitha Hawkins